Sunday, February 23, 2014

"Too Calm to Be Frustrated, for Now"

I can honestly say that today I'm way to calm to be frustrated, for now anyways. It seems like the closer I get to the next court date and my case "closing" the more agitated I become with meeting with the social worker twice a month. Not that there was a point that I Wasn't agitated that she's court mandated to come, it's just that all of this still makes no since to me. 

The social worker came to do a "home visit" this past Friday and as usual I asked her a bunch of questions that she Never has the answer to. Lol, I laugh because of the memory of her eyes rolling in the back of her head for the one hundredth time telling me "MK, I know you have concerns about the bruising left on your daughter from her father, but there is nothing we can do."  I'm thinking "Are you F****** kidding me?!" And then I say calmly,  " What the hell do you mean 'there is noting you can do', you are a SOCIAL WORKER. 

And then she'll say "Well MK, if it happens again report it and document it. Keep a file on what goes on and things like that." I told myself that it wasn't her fault. Hell, she's just doing her job right? We all have to make money doing Something right? At that point I'm sitting in front of this woman crying while I proudly look at the new clothing I just bought my daughter. With tears flowing and this woman looking at me like I'm a complete nut job I'm thinking, "Damn, they had a good sale today. Baby girl is going to look so freaking quite. And it has Sparklies!" 

And that's it!  That's all it took, me, looking at a purple, sparklie sweater that I bought baby girl to snap me out of my five minute crying spell before I told this woman what I really thought about her job and that little black book that she carries around. That black book annoys the hell out of me. It represents Him, those judges, my nice but not to useful lawyers, those damn CPS workers who falsely accused me of neglecting my daughter and them taking away my right to move back home to Chicago, IL with my baby girl to be with her family. A family that has met her, spent time with her, spoils her and can't wait to see her. 

When will be be able to go back home? When will baby girl get the live back that was taken from her due to Him and the lies these social workers have told to keep me here? Is it ever really about the child in family court or is more about control? 

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