WE ARE NOT YOUR BABY MAMAS!

So apparently it's my fault that he doesn't call our child. It's my fault that I have sole legal custody of our child. It's my fault that she only sees Him twice a month. It's my fault that I pushed to protect my child from a man who helped to create her but has also made threats to kill her. Such a BAD mother I am, all of this crap is my fault....

Let me explain something to you men who have abused the mothers of your children and to the courts who support you. We are Not your baby mamas so please stop referring to us as such! Our corrupt family court system may fall for your crap but for those of us who have matured and wised up, I'm telling you that the Game you call yourself playing is officially OVER. The relationship with the mother of your child does determine how that child is brought up. You should show some respect towards the woman bending over backwards to raise your child Alone! Meanwhile, you pay no child support what so ever! If we put you on child support, we are gold diggers. If we don't put you on child support, we are bad mothers letting you off the hook?!

Good single mothers just can't catch a break....

For those of us who have survived being in an abusive relationship with you, this transitioning process has Not been full of food stamps and free rent because we supposedly refuse to work. So please, stop telling everyone that your "baby mama" is doing nothing but the bare minimum to raise your child, especially when we have to take You to COURT to pay for even the smallest thing for your child. Once we have gotten up the courage to leave you, we deal with so much scrutiny it's sad. If we would have stayed with you, people tell us that we were stupid and didn't care for our children. But because some of us have realized that we are worth so much more and our children come first, we are told that we are at fault for not having a father in our children's lives... What gives?

We as single mothers do not get rewarded or a bigger paycheck for raising our children. Do you want to know what We get?? We get told how we have destroyed black men. We as single mothers get blamed whenever one single mother decides to kill her kids, keep the child away from the father unjustly, abuses her kids, etc. We as single mothers receive no freaking respect half of the time. And when you add the father of your child constantly Blaming you for His BS that he brought on Himself, it doesn't help.

There are single mothers like myself who work two and three jobs just to provide for the One child that we have. There are single mothers like myself who have sat across from those of you who have blacked our eyes, damaged our backs and more, yet we keep standing strong!! Yes, we cry in court because it hurts and we don't always have support! What the hell did you think was going to happen?! Are we supposed to stop being mothers that love our babies just because our judicial system says you have rights that you don't deserve?!

You abusive ex's of ours should really reconsider how you talk to us, our families, and stop lying in court! This is not a game to some of us survivors of domestic violence. We work hard and love our babies even harder! We do Not deserve to have to live life under your control judicially or otherwise. Lay off!!

FREE SHANESHA TAYLOR! JAIL IS NOT THE ANSWER FOR WOMEN IN POVERTY!

To:
Bill Montgomery, County Attorney, Maricopa County

Please reconsider bringing charges of child abuse/neglect against Shanesha Taylor. As a single mother myself, I can see the pain and fear in this woman eyes. I honestly her actions were that of a desperate mother who had no other options and no support. The only way to re-solve this issue is to provide Shanesha Taylor with child care and adequate housing, not jail. Jailing Shanesha Taylor would only defeat the purpose of keeping the children stable in every aspect. 

Sincerely,
M. Knox.

Newburgh NY

An Open Letter to Shanesha Taylor of Arizona

Dear Shanesha Taylor,

I recently came across a news report stating that you are responsible for leaving your children alone, in a vehicle, for about forty five minutes while you went on an interview. While I do not condone what it is that you did, I can relate because I made the mistake of leaving my daughter alone as well.

Like you, I am a single mother who knows what it's like to be homeless and have to deal with the frustration of not having reliable childcare. Back in May of 2012, I was forced to return back to NYS or lose custody of my daughter to my abuser and his family and possibly the foster care system.

I reluctantly came back only to end up homeless like yourself. I had no real support and no reliable to watch my daughter. I felt the same way you were feeling leading up to the days before you lost your children. Tired and just wanting to give your babies a better life. Desperation.

A woman a few doors down that resided in the same shelter as myself offered to watch my daughter. She called and as I stood there speaking to her over the phone I thought to myself  "My little one is asleep, I should take her." "No, I need to let her sleep. I'll leave the cartoons on with the volume low, secure her and lock the door. I won't be gone long." I leaned over and kissed my sleeping daughter. I was gone for maybe 15 minutes or so Shanesha. When I returned she was still asleep in the same exact spot and position.

My family court judge had already ordered CPS into the picture because the CPS worker came up with her own version of what happened in MY childhood. I had no choice but to try my best to comply. But then when they found out that my daughter was alone for a few minutes, they flipped.

Shanesha, the reason I am writing this letter to you is because I honestly do not believe you deliberately left your children alone to harm them or hurt them. I believe that in that moment, like myself, you struggled with the decision to leave them alone or not. But due to the lack of help available and offered, you left them alone out of desperation to land the job and hopefully provide a better life for them. Maybe you thought the interview wouldn't last that long and that you'd be be back in time before anyone had noticed. It saddens me that they have made the decision to take your children away from you and file charges against you.

I feel that instead of automatically taking your children away and jailing you, they should have sat you down and spoke with you to find out why you left the children alone. Then, they should have offered you a referral or something towards childcare until you got on your feet. And who's to say that you aren't seeking higher education? Maybe that could have helped your situation as well. If it were me, and I'm sure so many others who feel your pain, we would have tried to help you and your family before assuming the worst.

I believe that what you really need is a strong support system and people who are able to help you. I believe you need people who are going to do more than treat you like the typical single mother. I just want you to know that I can relate to your situation and ask of you to be strong for your babies. Please do not give up hope on ever seeing them again. It's ok to cry and even scream if you need to. But once that's over and you have gotten the hurt out of your system, for the time being, hug yourself. I know you probably think I'm nuts for saying that but you need to start doing this Now.

Hug yourself now because there are going to be court dates ahead and they may get to you. I know this from personal experience. Out of four years in court, only two people accompanied me to court. I had to learn to be prepared for the unexpected flood of emotions and frustration. You Will get through this and I believe that you will get your children back in your arms where they belong.

Whenever you feel like giving up, whenever you feel like your words and cries are falling on deaf ears, just remember that you are not alone. There are people out there that are going to feel your pain because you represent what they have had to endure and they will either pray or rise up and fight for you...

Sincerely,
Your Sista

Shanesha Taylor, 35, ARIZONA MOTHER WHO LEFT HER CHILDREN UNATTENDED/ WHERE WAS/IS THE HELP FOR THIS MOTHER?

SCOTTSDALE, AZ (CBS5) -

It's unclear if an Arizona mom got the job she was interviewing for, but after a witness found her children, ages 2 years and 6 months in a hot car outside, she now faces child abuse charges.

Scottsdale police said a witness heard a crying child inside a Dodge Durango parked in an office complex parking lot at 9700 N. 91st St. in Scottsdale about 12:30 p.m. Thursday. The woman reported to police the two young children were inside the vehicle parked directly in the sun, with the engine off, the doors closed and each of the four windows were just slightly open.

The mother, Shanesha Taylor, 35, returned to the vehicle about 45 minutes later and told the officer she had just finished a job interview and did not have anyone to watch her children.

"She was upset. This is a sad situation all around. She said she was homeless. She needed the job. Obviously not getting the job. So it's just a sad situation," said Scottsdale Police Sergeant Mark Clark. 

She was arrested and booked into jail for child abuse.

Her children are now in CPS custody.

Copyright 2014 CBS 5 (KPHO Broadcasting Corporation). All rights reserved

 Many will argue that this woman made a horrible decision by leaving her children unattended for 45 minutes, in hot weather while she attended a job interview. Many will say that those children are in a better place and that this woman probably didn't care about her children anyways. Many will label her as just another single black mother who shouldn't be raising kids, alone especially. But, what if  this woman is in fact a good mother but had no real help. Maybe she made a few mistakes with budgeting money or a past relationship, but now she is getting back on track. 

I don't know Shanesha Taylor or have any connection to this case. All I know is that I have been right where she's at, desperate to give your child/children a better life. And just by looking at this woman's mugshot, I can feel her pain and frustration over what happened. What if this woman is not the abusive mother that CPS may now label her as? What if she did reach out to every agency in her area but was denied?

For anyone who has ever dealt with Child Welfare/CPS/ACS, we know that this woman is in for a long battle. We know that they are not going to care about how much she cries that she loves her children because They feel that They know what's in the best interest of our children. Her children. The help for this family is going to come too little to late. 

So, to the State of Arizona, I ask you. What are you going to do? What are we as women who continue to be vilified by family court and the child welfare system going to do? This should not be just another woman who happened to "fall through the cracks." 

PD: AZ mom leaves 2 young kids in hot car during job interview - MSNewsNow.com - Jackson, MS

PD: AZ mom leaves 2 young kids in hot car during job interview - MSNewsNow.com - Jackson, MS



This does not look like a woman who would intentionally harm her children. She's homeless and doesn't have anyone to watch her children.



My questions are:



Is she in a shelter? If so, does this shelter offer childcare?



If this shelter doesn't have childcare then why not?



Why is it that the government can fund shelters for women and children but not affordable childcare for women looking for work?

THIS NEWS COMES TOO LITTLE TOO LATE...

The social worker assigned to my case told me that she wants to began the process of closing my case before the next court date in June or July of this year. I just sat there and looked at her. Was I supposed to jump up and thank God or something? Was I supposed to be happy and appreciative? I just felt and still feel numb.There is still going to be a long drawn out debate, an attack on my character by the DA on my case, and they are most likely going to drag me through more of their BS evaluations.

Why would I be happy about having false reports submitted in court against me by the welfare system? I don't know anyone in their right mind who would be. I made a honest mistake that I beat myself up over all of the time. My daughter was only alone for at least 10 or 15 minutes while I went into the other clients room to see if she would watch my daughter. The Department of Social Services in Orange County NY refused to approve me for child care. I didn't want to take her out of bed that early in the morning. If I could turn back the hands of time I would have done so. These people claim to want to help women but they don't.

Had I been allowed to remain in Chicago, where I had a Solid support system from my family and was employed with a full time job, I would have not gone through half of what I have gone through for the past two years. But because my ex and his family are here, my right to live and raise Mimi no longer exists. I feel so lost at times and have no hope that these people are going to let me leave this state With Mimi. I have raised her alone since the day she was born. We have such a bond and love for each other as mother and daughter. I can't imagine life without her.

Moving back to Chicago,Il would mean that Mimi would see her cousins, go to one of the wonderful schools in the Chicago area and have amazing opportunities. This city is so rich in history and culture. Every time I think of home/Chicago, I can literally feel the sand from the beach beneath my feet.I remember the joy from by daughter during her very first visit at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, she loved it! I can see the iconic view that so many have captured and the pride I feel having been born and raised there. Mimi loved her daycare there and seeing my mother, her grandmother. I swear I can't win when Mimi and my mom team up on me, lol.

I am on a mission and I need your help... I am on a mission to get my daughter and I back home to Chicago, IL. If there is any information or reliable resources that anyone can provide, I ask that you contact me through this blog. Contact information will be posted Soon.

Random Thoughts...

I am in this state of reflection once again... 

As I sit here and watch my daughter play my mind drifts back to four years ago when I had her. I was twenty-four years old and swore that I would have everything together and my degree completed. I swore that I would be healed from the wounds caused by her father and the feelings of resentment towards my family for not being there. I have come very far but not in ways that I myself saw it happening. But the funny thing is that I don't see this as a bad thing.

I smile because I know what I have endured and overcome. I remember having to work three jobs at one point and had no idea as to how I was going to get sleep or who was going to watch baby girl. I remember being exhausted and frustrated. I have no family here in NYS. To say that I was homesick is an understatement, lol. I was more than ready to pack our bags and leave everything here behind. But over the years I've managed to hang in there. 

If only my judge know how strong I was and how much I've had to endure. How can a society have so much biased against single mothers? We have so much on our plates.

 There isn't a day that goes by in my life or the life of other single mothers that's ever routine. I remember just having pulled a double shift and having to rush baby girl to the ER because she had a fever. We'd wait and eventually be seen by the doctor only to be told that the cold had to run it's course. I did as advised and went home tired with no sleep having to prepare for the next shift...

I held baby girl those nights though. I never got upset or blamed her for being here. I just held her and fell asleep at peace. I had something good in my life. This little person who loved and who still loves me was counting on ME to provide for her. She didn't know that there were times that I had ran out of milk and would wash our clothing on my hands instead of at the laundromat mat. The formula was about the same price of laundry for that week. There were plenty of times that I've had to go without my needs being met but I didn't care. I was more concerned about her and getting more than the usual four hours of sleep,lol. She was worth it, still is. 

Four years ago I came here with plans and goals and now things have completely changed. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I don't have a clue as to what lies ahead. All I know is that my daughter is my world and the sky is the limit. Whatever comes my way, I have to stay strong and stay the course. If I give up, what will I be teaching my daughter? If I sit back and follow what others may want me to do, what example am I setting for my daughter? 

Dear Family Court, NYS/Goshen NY

June 5th, 2010....

"Oh, you like it Rough?!, I'll show you rough." At this point he flings the baby onto the bed as I run towards the room the room door that leads to the kitchen. Cornered... He's got this stone cold look in his eye and not even blinking, and then it begins...

"Please, I can't breathe!" (The wall, really?! Breathe and try to relax. He'll let go.) Backed up against the wall with his hand around my throat is the position I found myself in. He's staring at me quietly but firmly saying "Shut up. Stop acting like you can't breath, like I'm hurting you." At this point I reach for his throat and try to grab him. I reach for his throat and he doesn't flinch, just stares at me and then throws me towards the floor. I get up and try to catch my footing but then I feel his hand at the back of my head and pushed into the wall, the wall cracks due to me being pushed into it.

"M, what the hell. You said things would change." Get to the door! Get to the door! Oh God, I can't leave baby girl here alone with him. Maybe if I'm near the door and try to open it for help someone will call the police. I stand up and there is a slap and then he spits in my face. I spit back and then he spits several more times in my face. I began to cry. At this point I'm beside the front door and standing face to face to him. "I want my baby! We need to leave, just let us leave!" I try to move past him to get to baby girl who is screaming her lungs out. He stands there blocking my efforts to get to baby girl. "You ain't going no where with my baby! You are Crazy and all I have to do is tell the courts that and you won't see her!"

Frantically, I began moving towards him. He blocks my path and I started to swing my fists. I was tired! All I wanted to do was get to baby girl and escape to the nearest sight of anyone for help. LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! I didn't see it coming. As I had charged forward towards the room to get baby girl, I swung at Him and that's all I can recall. The next thing I Knew I was reaching for the door knob and then being dragged by the shreads of my shirt, by my neck. He began dragging me like a rag doll into the room. I was choking and couldn't breathe. I was too sore to try to stand up. He dragged me into the room and locked the door behind him.

I tried to move but he stood over me knee knocking me in the head with his knees every time I tried to move. I looked over at baby girl who was still crying. He then laid on top of me and began apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm sorry, please don't call the police. If you do you'll take me away from baby girl." "Please, I'm so sorry. You don't know how to be quiet and you make me do things like this."

At this point I knew he wasn't going to let me leave, and not with baby girl. So I what I had seen done so many times through out my child hood. I sat up and I held him. "It's ok." "It's my fault." "If only I had did what you said and just agreed with you." "Don't worry baby, I love you." "We are a family and I'll never break this family up by calling the police on you like last time." He seemed to calm down but still kept us all in the one room.

That night I had never been so afraid in my life until that very moment. I kept baby girl very near me and fed him lies to keep him calm. I began thinking of a place to go but there was none. I kept thinking of family to call but family was home in Chicago. They had no clue about what was going on. How could I tel them that I had went to a whole other state to try to work things out with a man who had beaten me while pregnant and so on. I felt horrible for leaving the short time before because of baby girl. "You don't want her to grow up having issues like you because you left me now do you?" "She is not going to like that you kept me away from her if you leave me." "No one will like or respect a single mother either." "All I have to do is tell the courts that you have mental health issues and you'll never see baby girl again. I'll put your ass on child support too!"

These are the things that kept me with him. The fear of not being believed or being protected. No one ever believed the women I knew who were being abused so why would they believe me. There were so many thoughts running through my mind regarding safety, lawyers, and getting back home to Chicago, Il which seemed impossible. This still seems impossible...

On June 4th 2010 I left our family back home in Chicago, Il thinking I had made the right decision. HE had promised to change and we'd go to couples counseling before we got married later that year. I promised to be more patient with him finding a job and more understanding. We both made promises to each other and like always I had set high personal goals for myself to give baby girl a good life regardless if we stayed together or not. What I didn't know is what lied ahead once I arrived to NY.

A few days before I left Chicago for NY, I remember watching an episode of the Tyra Banks Show on tv. Her guest had survived domestic violence and were sharing their stories. At the end of the show she urged women to seek help if they were being abused...

I arrived to NY on June 4th 2010 at 4:32 pm and that following day, June 5th 2010 I had five blows to the head, a concussion, dislocated jaw, and was spitting up blood due to being choked by my daughters father, all by 4:32pm that evening...

I now see that the warning was through Tyra Banks herself. All I know is that in the back of my mind I knew coming to NY was going to be a mistake and this complete stranger on tv was talking about the very thing that was about to happen to me, again...